The Leal Family Blog

Christmas is over and boy was it a good one. Finally, Miles is getting to an age that Santa and presents intrigue him. So, it is fun to watch his eyes twinkle and his face light up when he realizes what the gift is. For me, I got some thoughtful gifts, but my mind was elsewhere. I was thinking about the next year and what it had in store for me. I decided it was time to clean myself up a bit. Not that I am especially terrible, but there are things I can do better.

Not to sound too weird, but I think I’d like to live more like a Jedi from Star Wars. No, not dress in robes and carry a flashlight jumping around in my living room…but, be about helping and defending those in need. Be charitable and remember the little things that make my life so nice. Patience and benevolence are also traits of Jedi which I have tons of work to do on.

PATIENCE AND BENEVOLENCE
“Patience!” – Yoda

Patience is something that I have to really watch. Windy and Miles just never seem like they move fast enough. I want to proclaim: “HURRY UP!” But, what does it really help to move a few seconds faster? It is just in my mind. Relax! Charitable or Benevolent is something that I feel I have always been good at. I find myself helping others all the time. I don’t have money to give, but time and kind words are always available.

MATERIAL POSSESSIONS
“… Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.” – Yoda

Jedi tend to live a life where materials and emotional attachments are forbidden. Well, the emotional attachments can stay, but the worshiping of materials has got to end. Too often do we as humans treat others who have as those who are better. That just isn’t true.

FEAR
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.” – Yoda.

Jedi also do not fear. This one is hard. I don’t think I’ll ever get over my fear of heights, but fear of the future, maybe. But, fear can show itself all the time. Like when Miles decides to climb on something and I walk around the corner and see him. Fear rushes in and I watch in horror thinking he could fall. I usually run over to him and help him down. But, I think that putting things in God’s perspective and remembering that he is watching the family should settle my reaction. Now, I’ll still go over to help him down safely, but I’ll also remember the angels who are watching over my family.

Jedi hold the deepest commitment and serious minds. I want to commit myself to my family and to God and to remember to think seriously about my family and my actions.

I’ll leave you with some of my favorite quotes from Master Yoda:

“… Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

“Named must your fear be before banish it you can.”

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not.…”

“Do or do not… there is no try.”

Today I went to church.  I don’t go often, but I went today because some special people were leaving and today was their last day to be here.

Captains Tim and Cheryl Gilliam are the pastors who are leaving to Maryland.  I met them shortly after they came to Waco.  I learned that my grandfather had preached to Tim many years ago and served as instrumental to Tim becoming an officer in the Salvation Army.  As Tim talked of my grandfather, I saw that he loved him too.  His love made him family to me.

The more I spent time with him, I realized that he was a true and loving person.  One who really cared about people and the lives they lead.  I found that he was a model for the person I wanted to be.  But, why I couldn’t get there I don’t know.

I attended church now and again and every time he preached I was touched.  He made me want to be a better Christian.  Many of you know me and you’ll know that I have been fighting God for many years.  Tim’s spirit caused me to take a pause and remind myself what my grandfather told me often: That God teaches us lessons by giving and taking away.  Sometimes, we don’t want it to be so hard, but the lesson is so important.

Those lessons I still fight to understand–everyday.

Cheryl is another diamond.  She radiates God’s light and being around her will blind you with God’s light.  She loves the Lord and taught me a new way to express my love.

I was taken by both of them.  I truly found people who were living and walking in God’s light.  I always wanted to do the same, but for me, it is so hard.  It seems I am surrounded by people who don’t walk the walk.  My light is so dim compared to the darkness they bring in.  So, when I am around the Gilliams, I find that I can feel my light expanding and breathing and living.  I want that more.

Now, that they are leaving, I find times darker.  Yes, I had my chance to improve my light and I floundered it by not taking advantage of their pressence.  Yes, I would love to take that time back, but who knows…

Today, I fought back tears because I was losing a friend and a family member to distance.  But, as I think about it, I pause to remember that God gives me Light and even though it feels better to spread the light with friends, I can do it alone because God is by my side.  This point is what the Gilliam’s have taught me.  Let your light guide you…Let others see it…Let God see it…and even when times are dark, God’s Light is still visible because it is in my heart.

To my friend, Bless you and most of all–Thank you.

Well, today was another doosie!

Only today I found out I was lied to. Not a big lie, but lied to by someone whom I respect and trust. But, I left work today wondering if I could still trust them.

A brief look at dictionary.com gives the following definition:

trust n. 1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.

So, what to do? Trust is something that I take VERY seriously. I believe that when a person tells you something in confidence that they are bound by honor. Is that dead? What do you do with people who blindly don’t believe the same things as you? I don’t know.

To be quite honest, I am sick to my stomach and just plain old tired. It seems that you just cannot put trust into people nowadays. No one takes it seriously and no one cares about it. But, I do.

Running around life not having integrity is an empty life. Life without the joys of friendship and the happiness of knowing that you have friend in which you can in confidence confide can’t be happy.

I am happy that I can trust my wife and my family. Those have been my true constant. But, it hurts having another constant torn away. I guess I’ll just have to get over it.

Maybe I am just spoiled…or just too trusty.

I’ll never know.